9 years later...

This weekend Anne and I got to do something that should have taken place 9 years ago.I was very fortunate to actually run in to one of my father's close friends a while back. This man was a very close friend of my father and had shared in an experience 9 years ago that would turn out to bring Anne and I a lot of grief. See, this man was part of a small group of my father's friends that spread his ashes after his passing. Anne and I were not aware that his ashes had been spread till at least 6 weeks after it took place. We were not invited or told that any of this had taken place. Neither was my father's mother. Can' you imagine? I can't begin to tell you the devastation this brought to both of us. When I learned of this, I can honestly tell you that I was heartbroken as was my sister. I hope that no one ever has to experience some of the things that Anne and I have experienced in our life, however we have both learned you just have to move on, but this was one act that we have had a really hard time moving on from. After this man and I talked it was very apparent that there was a LOT of miscommunication in what I had been told by people that were supposed to be my family. So sad. So very, very sad. It is hard to even imagine how people that are supposed to LOVE you can never even think of your feelings,and partake in a very selfish act. I will never understand it. So................this weekend, Anne and I were invited to learn the true story, the actual FACTS that took place almost 9 years ago. Anne and I will forever be grateful to this person that gave us pictures of our father that we had no idea even existed and shared with us what TRULY happened the day that my father was actually laid to rest. It was a very calming experience and one that I will always treasure. It was wonderful to be with people that truly did love my father. So after this experience and after all the feelings that we have felt for 9 years, here is the lesson that is learned folks. There are people in this world that truly have no clue what it means to LOVE someone and to want the best for people. In the past I would be angry and mad and wouldn't be able to let it go, and there will still be times like that, because you never forget, however knowing that I know this isn't about them, because they in my mind don't know what it means to think of others, I am thankful for the people that do. I am now just sad, sad that their actions let the most important person down, and that was my father. My father was the one that was let down the most. That saddens me. So what I have learned from this process as cliche as it may sound...treat people how you want to be treated. Remember that your words and your actions may truly change someones life for the better or for the worst. Actions that took place 9 years ago brought so much grief to Anne and I, actions that weren't necessary, but selfish, however the actions that took place this weekend brought us such joy and restored in us the goodness in people, and has also built a lasting friendship, one that we are both very thankful to have. There are many wonderful people in this world, and my father had many surrounding him, that we are fortunate to have in our lives. We love you dad!!